This morning I had to take a picture for Win, Lose or Blog and this is what I saw:
Goodness, I look smaller than I feel like I look in the mirror. I wasn't sucking anything in and I don't have any equipment to alter photos to make myself look thinner. I think I look pretty bloody fantastic. (Sorry about the "bloody"...it's a habit from reading too many British books lol!) Although, I think the size of my body looks great in this picture...I'm still trying to figure out why.
I know it really makes no sense to wonder about this, because I've been working hard. I'm honestly puzzled though. This is not what I see when I look down at my body or even when I look in the mirror. I had to run and take a quick check on my belly button and hip measurements and they have indeed gone down in just two weeks. My head still isn't wrapping around this picture though. When I look at myself in the mirror or down at myself I think I see about 20 lbs more than this picture shows.
I'm not an emotional person, but at the moment I want to cry. There are two reasons:
1- I'm a little upset the self image I have of myself is so messed up. if this picture is what I really look like, why am I not seeing it? What's wrong with me?
2- The more I stare at this picture, the more I realize I AM DOING THIS! I mean I know I've been making changes and I know the scale has been going down, but this picture is just.....WOW. It's my "aha moment." I AM DOING THIS!
Even while typing this I keep scrolling up to the picture asking "Is this really me?" I don't have anything close to a flat stomach, but this shirt used to be tight and showed all kinds of stomach rolls. I just don't know. I really don't have anything else to say. I'm just a little in awe...my mind has not caught up to this picture yet.
This isn't a song on my workout list, but I'm kinda feeling like an All-Star